A Good Husband's Guide
By Miller H Caldwell
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead. Hide the beer tins. Have a good mouth rinse. Even the night before, make sure you are planning for that delicious meal tomorrow. When you ‘phone Meals For Two Express Delivery, make sure it arrives two doors away at your friend Bill’s home half an hour before beloved arrives. Keep Bill in the secret by giving him free ball game tickets. When the Meals For Two Delivery arrives, make sure all the foil is removed and covertly placed in neighbours trash can.
Prepare yourself. Have a shower. Splash on the Tommy liberally. Remove Girly magazines from settee and replace with the Economist. Turn over a few pages to look as if you have read it. To ensure the rooms are well dusted, open all the windows and hope there will be a good breeze.
Be happy to see her. Show you are happy to see her. Show her sincerity in your desire to please her. Place a pack of three by her bedside. When she comes in to change after a hard days work getting out of her power suit, she will be delighted to see you care.
Don’t greet her with complaints and problems other than express your disappointment that the store was out of spinach but you managed to get the ingredients for ratatoue en provence. You really did not mind spending all afternoon cooking.It was too hot outside. Open a new bottle of her favourite red/white wine. Do not let her see the half finished bottle you were drinking in the hammock this afternoon. Oh and…make sure the hammock is back in the store room.
Make the evening hers. Line up all the soaps on TV for her this evening. This will give you at least two and a half hours to blog.
Let her choose where the annual vacation will be this year. Then return with your ideal holiday booking showing her suggestion was great but it had been brought to your notice by the sales person that it was a particularly beautiful quiet place spoilt by mosquito ponds nearby which the brochure did not show.
Make her birthday a special day. Book her on a skydive after telling her it’s a short flight over the Grand Canyon. Make sure you wine and dine her at one of your favourite eateries.
Remember she is the mistress of the house. (But not during the day).
Finally, and this is a bit risky,
(especially if she comes across this article)…but…..tell her to log on to AuthorsDen.com ……and show her Sandra Mushi’s article entitled The GOOD WIFE’S GUIDE.
Then with pleading Basset Hound eyes, tell her you are trying to live up to these high expectations…because……she deserves them.
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead. Hide the beer tins. Have a good mouth rinse. Even the night before, make sure you are planning for that delicious meal tomorrow. When you ‘phone Meals For Two Express Delivery, make sure it arrives two doors away at your friend Bill’s home half an hour before beloved arrives. Keep Bill in the secret by giving him free ball game tickets. When the Meals For Two Delivery arrives, make sure all the foil is removed and covertly placed in neighbours trash can.
Prepare yourself. Have a shower. Splash on the Tommy liberally. Remove Girly magazines from settee and replace with the Economist. Turn over a few pages to look as if you have read it. To ensure the rooms are well dusted, open all the windows and hope there will be a good breeze.
Be happy to see her. Show you are happy to see her. Show her sincerity in your desire to please her. Place a pack of three by her bedside. When she comes in to change after a hard days work getting out of her power suit, she will be delighted to see you care.
Don’t greet her with complaints and problems other than express your disappointment that the store was out of spinach but you managed to get the ingredients for ratatoue en provence. You really did not mind spending all afternoon cooking.It was too hot outside. Open a new bottle of her favourite red/white wine. Do not let her see the half finished bottle you were drinking in the hammock this afternoon. Oh and…make sure the hammock is back in the store room.
Make the evening hers. Line up all the soaps on TV for her this evening. This will give you at least two and a half hours to blog.
Let her choose where the annual vacation will be this year. Then return with your ideal holiday booking showing her suggestion was great but it had been brought to your notice by the sales person that it was a particularly beautiful quiet place spoilt by mosquito ponds nearby which the brochure did not show.
Make her birthday a special day. Book her on a skydive after telling her it’s a short flight over the Grand Canyon. Make sure you wine and dine her at one of your favourite eateries.
Remember she is the mistress of the house. (But not during the day).
Finally, and this is a bit risky,
(especially if she comes across this article)…but…..tell her to log on to AuthorsDen.com ……and show her Sandra Mushi’s article entitled The GOOD WIFE’S GUIDE.
Then with pleading Basset Hound eyes, tell her you are trying to live up to these high expectations…because……she deserves them.
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posted by James at 2:03 PM
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